When I was in middle school, my brother drove me around a lot.
Technically, for the entirety of my life, my brothers drove me around a lot. Not even necessarily for my own purposes; I was just very portable and someone had to make sure I wasn't left running around falling in empty pool shells (again).
Middle school, though, was another chapter to my angsty growing up phase (it lasted most of years 8-21).
Chon always asked me how I was.
I always said, "Tired."
Once, on my way to somewhere--it was probably Haley's house, but along the far end of 91st street--he gave up and asked me if I was ever going to stop being tired.
In fairness, we found out months later that I'd had mono for most of my seventh grade year. Never missed a day of school or swim practice either (read: I was an exhausted punk but at least I was determined).
I think about that interaction often, though, because often I ask myself the same thing.
Was I always like this?
Was my college extroversion and GO GO GO nature a hiatus from my hibernative temperament?
Was my year of depressive sleep and darkness enough to suck away years of future waking?
I'm not unhappy. Actually, I'm very content.
But shouldn't I want more from life than naps?
At a certain point, you begin to wonder if this is a phase or if this is your life.
Because it feels as though no amount of sleeping or working out or joy or attempts to read and write can pull me back up to my former capacities to engage and devour language and pour my own language out.
Showing posts with label chon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chon. Show all posts
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Adulting
Multiple times over the past few months, I would have an abolute panic attack about this whole adult thing, moderated by times when I was like, "Oh no prob. I can take on the world." (Literally).
I feared that I would be totally faulty at my job, totally unable to cope with the Big Move, and totally overwhelmed by the sheer responsibility and commitment of a full time job.
That last part may still give me some nightmares, but overall, I have a little wee comment.
My brother Chon told me, upon my most recent freak out in May, that the best way to cope with it is just to do it. I just have to do it. And the fact of the matter is that I might actually be inadequate at my job, have moments of sucking at this new/old culture, and overwhelmed, but I would be superhuman (or inhuman) if that were not true.
He also sent me a link to Paramore's song, "Ain't it Fun".
Chon was right.
With enormous things, sometimes the only choice you have is just to turn around and face it, even if you don't think you have much to face it with.
There's a chance that I wrote on this before (worth writing on again), but a few months ago, I was reading the Bible and re-read the section of the armour of God:
Ephesians 6:10-13:
I feared that I would be totally faulty at my job, totally unable to cope with the Big Move, and totally overwhelmed by the sheer responsibility and commitment of a full time job.
That last part may still give me some nightmares, but overall, I have a little wee comment.
My brother Chon told me, upon my most recent freak out in May, that the best way to cope with it is just to do it. I just have to do it. And the fact of the matter is that I might actually be inadequate at my job, have moments of sucking at this new/old culture, and overwhelmed, but I would be superhuman (or inhuman) if that were not true.
He also sent me a link to Paramore's song, "Ain't it Fun".
Chon was right.
With enormous things, sometimes the only choice you have is just to turn around and face it, even if you don't think you have much to face it with.
There's a chance that I wrote on this before (worth writing on again), but a few months ago, I was reading the Bible and re-read the section of the armour of God:
Ephesians 6:10-13:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
And after you have done everything, to stand.
We align ourselves with Jesus, put what we've got on the line, and then we wait and we trust that if have followed where He led us, then He's going to show up and give power to our meager attempts at being sufficient.
We show up.
We turn and face our giants.
We adult.
And everything is okay.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Games
Stop one was Benedict's for dinner. They have a super cool deal there where meal prices change depending on the time you get there. So if you order at 5:45, your meal is 5.45. It makes dinner like a game. Also, it's delicious.
From there, we went on to Cuckoo's pub. It was loud with this terrible alt music, but that added to its charm. We played make it or break it, would you rather, and gave each other dares like ten year olds.
My two dares were to get up and dance by myself for a full minute (this was not an empty pub) and to tell the bar tender that I fancied his ponytail. The second led to a nice wee talk with him about hair care and just how hard it is to make a good messy bun these days. He seemed genuinely pleased that someone appreciated his hair artistry. ha!
We rounded out our evening of games with speed charades. There's this app that is a combination of catchphrase and charades, and you put your phone on your forehead, it flashes a word, and your friends act it out while you guess. The cultural struggle was real. Pop culture (any culture) references went way past our heads or their heads without much overlap in knowledge. It was hilarious.
We chose hot drinks instead of cold and I was reminded of a game night with my family playing Things. The category was "things that make me feel stupid." Chon wrote "Ordering at coldstone." Coldstone Creamery is a posh ice cream shop in Tulsa whose sizes are "Like it," "Love it," and "Gotta have it."
My drink was called, "Apple pie or die." He couldn't understand my accent, so I had to say it twice, and I felt so stupid. It did not taste like apple pie, but it was warm. :) In Ireland, many times that's all you really wish to for.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Stop. Collaborate and Listen.
It's that special time of year! No, not Christmas. THANKSGIVING!
My all-time favorite holiday. It used to be a close runner-up to Christmas Eve, but since we've grown out of our old Christmas traditions, Thanksgiving has taken its rightful place at the top.
Every year growing up, Chon and I would watch the Macy's parade for hours, then he would...well...I don't actually know where he would go, but I would get changed (usually more than once. Jansie usually called my first attempts "homeless") and ready for the day and help the women in the kitchen.
Mashed potatoes are only right one way. Once they are in mountain form, a spoon forms a crater, a slice of butter goes in, and a dash of paprika sprinkles across the top.
My food roles are cranberry sauce and stuffing. My stuffing recipe is absolutely incredible. The cranberries, though, I never get exactly right. It's a delicate art, cranberry sauce.
When she's there, Krissy joins me in our joint role of table setting. We are in charge of putting ice in the cups. That's it. It's a lonely job without her. There's nobody to hide escaped ice cubes under various table toppers with. Or roll eyes when my mother or aunt cracks a joke about finally letting us in on the family secret recipe for ice cubes. (One day, we'll get that recipe...:))
From there, it's just a mess of singing, people, food, getting trapped at the table (literally), games, pie, mass naps, food, rifling through the black friday ads, and maybe a drive down to Utica Square for Lights On.
The very best part of this tradition is the way my family collects people.
I don't remember a single Thanksgiving where I was related (or knew) everyone at my table. Friends, family, friends of family, teachers of family, random college students with nowhere to go, random church members with nowhere to go, etc. And for that one day, they are my family.
Today, we had Thanksgiving Irish Style with a few splashes of home.
The Macy's Day Parade was on all afternoon, the food was everywhere, and gathered around the table were friends, family, and a stranger. The students, who have become my friends and family; Hadden and Betty, who are a very sweet and sparky older couple who look after us and are also like our family; and Naomi, who is a friend to me and a stranger to them.
And the very best thing happened. All this was good and well, but I received two phone calls that made my day. Two of my brothers FaceTimed me. I don't know. It seems like a silly thing to care so much about, but being remembered is a big deal to me. I met my nephew Superfly for the first time (met is a liberal word for staring at a phone pointed at a sleeping baby) and got air kisses from two of my nieces. Here's a silly, unclear screen shot of my oldest brother and his family.
Jansie, too, has sent me various pictures from the day's festivities. It's a quiet year for the Odom's. The siblings are due for their Thanksgiving with our family next year, so this year was just my ma and daddy, my aunt and uncle, and my sweet grandmother.
Check out my mother's impressive edible arrangement (she really has quite a gift. At my graduation, she made my face, nosering and all).
What am I thankful for?
1. My full handful of nieces and nephews. They completely changed my family and my life. They're so itty bitty, but they've made such a dynamic impact. One they won't ever completely understand. I love them with my whole heart. And while I'm at it, I'm thankful for the technology that allows me to be a part of their lives even while I'm so far away.
2. My family. My brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. I'm sure everyone has a wonderful family, but mine...man. Lord has blessed us.
3. I am thankful for a God who forges unlikely relationships between unlikely people and gives us the grace to break and grow with one another as we pass in and out of seasons in our lives. Freak accident friendships. The three I have in mind are with Haley, Caity, and Kira.
I know the top one's blurry, but it captures us perfectly. Always in motion. Always laughing. Always doing something ridiculous and silly and fun. Just fun. And yet, they are the first people I go to when I need to talk through matters of the soul. These pictures in particular are taken in Haley Nelle's room by her boyfriend who met all of us simultaneously. That's how we like to do things. He survived the vetting. We kept him. He's a good one, David is.
4. I'm thankful for my amazing college friends, professors, and mentors who continue to impact my life. Rabbi, Tracy, Abby, Becca, Peter, Adam, Maddie, Anna, Carli. I'm sure there are others.
5. I'm thankful for change. Like the change of me living here, the changes of family additions and marriages of my best friends, the changes God is making in my own life.
There is no need to make a specific number for God. The rest of the list simply doesn't exist without him.
To close this incredibly long post, I leave you with the song we sing around our Thanksgiving table (hands held so nobody sneaks food. Grandma...):
Father, we thank thee. Father we thank thee. Father in Heaven, we thank thee
*Cue male family members attempts at prayer and successes at tears.*
My all-time favorite holiday. It used to be a close runner-up to Christmas Eve, but since we've grown out of our old Christmas traditions, Thanksgiving has taken its rightful place at the top.
Every year growing up, Chon and I would watch the Macy's parade for hours, then he would...well...I don't actually know where he would go, but I would get changed (usually more than once. Jansie usually called my first attempts "homeless") and ready for the day and help the women in the kitchen.
Mashed potatoes are only right one way. Once they are in mountain form, a spoon forms a crater, a slice of butter goes in, and a dash of paprika sprinkles across the top.
My food roles are cranberry sauce and stuffing. My stuffing recipe is absolutely incredible. The cranberries, though, I never get exactly right. It's a delicate art, cranberry sauce.
When she's there, Krissy joins me in our joint role of table setting. We are in charge of putting ice in the cups. That's it. It's a lonely job without her. There's nobody to hide escaped ice cubes under various table toppers with. Or roll eyes when my mother or aunt cracks a joke about finally letting us in on the family secret recipe for ice cubes. (One day, we'll get that recipe...:))
From there, it's just a mess of singing, people, food, getting trapped at the table (literally), games, pie, mass naps, food, rifling through the black friday ads, and maybe a drive down to Utica Square for Lights On.
The very best part of this tradition is the way my family collects people.
I don't remember a single Thanksgiving where I was related (or knew) everyone at my table. Friends, family, friends of family, teachers of family, random college students with nowhere to go, random church members with nowhere to go, etc. And for that one day, they are my family.
Today, we had Thanksgiving Irish Style with a few splashes of home.
The Macy's Day Parade was on all afternoon, the food was everywhere, and gathered around the table were friends, family, and a stranger. The students, who have become my friends and family; Hadden and Betty, who are a very sweet and sparky older couple who look after us and are also like our family; and Naomi, who is a friend to me and a stranger to them.
And the very best thing happened. All this was good and well, but I received two phone calls that made my day. Two of my brothers FaceTimed me. I don't know. It seems like a silly thing to care so much about, but being remembered is a big deal to me. I met my nephew Superfly for the first time (met is a liberal word for staring at a phone pointed at a sleeping baby) and got air kisses from two of my nieces. Here's a silly, unclear screen shot of my oldest brother and his family.
Jansie, too, has sent me various pictures from the day's festivities. It's a quiet year for the Odom's. The siblings are due for their Thanksgiving with our family next year, so this year was just my ma and daddy, my aunt and uncle, and my sweet grandmother.
Check out my mother's impressive edible arrangement (she really has quite a gift. At my graduation, she made my face, nosering and all).
What am I thankful for?
1. My full handful of nieces and nephews. They completely changed my family and my life. They're so itty bitty, but they've made such a dynamic impact. One they won't ever completely understand. I love them with my whole heart. And while I'm at it, I'm thankful for the technology that allows me to be a part of their lives even while I'm so far away.
2. My family. My brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. I'm sure everyone has a wonderful family, but mine...man. Lord has blessed us.
3. I am thankful for a God who forges unlikely relationships between unlikely people and gives us the grace to break and grow with one another as we pass in and out of seasons in our lives. Freak accident friendships. The three I have in mind are with Haley, Caity, and Kira.
I know the top one's blurry, but it captures us perfectly. Always in motion. Always laughing. Always doing something ridiculous and silly and fun. Just fun. And yet, they are the first people I go to when I need to talk through matters of the soul. These pictures in particular are taken in Haley Nelle's room by her boyfriend who met all of us simultaneously. That's how we like to do things. He survived the vetting. We kept him. He's a good one, David is. 5. I'm thankful for change. Like the change of me living here, the changes of family additions and marriages of my best friends, the changes God is making in my own life.
There is no need to make a specific number for God. The rest of the list simply doesn't exist without him.
To close this incredibly long post, I leave you with the song we sing around our Thanksgiving table (hands held so nobody sneaks food. Grandma...):
Father, we thank thee. Father we thank thee. Father in Heaven, we thank thee
*Cue male family members attempts at prayer and successes at tears.*
Friday, November 22, 2013
One Familial
Though there's an argument on my side that his birthday is the 22nd rather than the 21st due to timezones, by Tulsa Time, Samuel Jonathan Odom was born to my siblings Chon and Emily yesterday, on the evening of the 21st.
Sammy Superfly (Chon let Weird Al name the kid) is the second baby boy to be born to any of my siblings. He and Harrison (nephew #1 and firstborn grandkid) sandwich my three beautiful nieces. I'm not just saying that. They're seriously good looking.
Feast your eyes:
Sitting in ascending order below are Ella Grace, Libby Rose, Gianna Aloisio, and Harrison Peter.
They're not particularly fond of taking photos, but meet them once and you will never get your heart back. Do you see Ella's battle cry there in the bottom? How cute is that? You know you're sitting there awkwardly laughing by yourself at your computer. Don't try and hide it.
Libby love is the older sister of Superfly. She is 2 going on 12. Bright, kind, and funny, if not a little shy. Absolutely loves animals.
When I met her, she shocked me with her direct, unwavering eye contact. Literally a day out of the womb and she could stare straight into your soul without blinking for full minutes.
Chon as a dad is a bizarre concept for me, even though he's had Libbs for 2 years. He's a really wonderful father, don't get me wrong, but he's also the guy who used to practice WWF wrestling moves on me and make me sign semi-abusive contracts before I could read. He's still my obnoxious, antagonizing big brother (hides my cell phone every single dang time I see him. I've had to chase his car down the street more times than I'd like to admit).
People grow up. Isn't that weird? Or people exist one day and don't the next. Or people semi-exist one day and are lying sweetly right there in your arms the next. Humanity is madness.
With the excitement of his birth comes a twinge of selfish sadness. He's the first birth I've missed. Even when I lived in Arkansas, I would drop everything and drive to Tulsa if one of my sisters went into labor.
Thank goodness I'm coming home in January rather than June, but still. I miss my family. I want to snuggle my nieces, ask for Libby's "first impressions", and hold my nephew. But life changes and moves us. Sometimes physically moves us. I don't want to miss their lives or be the aunt they only see at Christmas or on FaceTime. I want to come home.
Sammy Superfly (Chon let Weird Al name the kid) is the second baby boy to be born to any of my siblings. He and Harrison (nephew #1 and firstborn grandkid) sandwich my three beautiful nieces. I'm not just saying that. They're seriously good looking.
Feast your eyes:
Libby love is the older sister of Superfly. She is 2 going on 12. Bright, kind, and funny, if not a little shy. Absolutely loves animals.
When I met her, she shocked me with her direct, unwavering eye contact. Literally a day out of the womb and she could stare straight into your soul without blinking for full minutes.
Chon as a dad is a bizarre concept for me, even though he's had Libbs for 2 years. He's a really wonderful father, don't get me wrong, but he's also the guy who used to practice WWF wrestling moves on me and make me sign semi-abusive contracts before I could read. He's still my obnoxious, antagonizing big brother (hides my cell phone every single dang time I see him. I've had to chase his car down the street more times than I'd like to admit).
People grow up. Isn't that weird? Or people exist one day and don't the next. Or people semi-exist one day and are lying sweetly right there in your arms the next. Humanity is madness.
With the excitement of his birth comes a twinge of selfish sadness. He's the first birth I've missed. Even when I lived in Arkansas, I would drop everything and drive to Tulsa if one of my sisters went into labor.
Thank goodness I'm coming home in January rather than June, but still. I miss my family. I want to snuggle my nieces, ask for Libby's "first impressions", and hold my nephew. But life changes and moves us. Sometimes physically moves us. I don't want to miss their lives or be the aunt they only see at Christmas or on FaceTime. I want to come home.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
change. not the type that jingles.
today was my brother Jon's graduation. we had pictures of him when he was younger all over. there was this little basket of pictures i was looking through and there were a lot of the two of us together when we were really little. they were just the cutest things in the world and they made me get very mixed emotions. they made me remember happy memories and they also made my heart hurt. you see, this coming year marks a new phase in my life. i'm becomming an aunt in less than a month. i'm gaining a sister in june. the group of friends that i made this year are all moving away to college and such. and then in august probably the biggest change in my life thus far will occur. my brother is one of my best friends. i mean we fought and argued for the first well sixteen years of my life, but all the while i loved it. i love being playful and having fun with my brother. playing basketball, wrestling, watching him play hours of zelda, i loved it all, just being around him makes me happy. he used to drive me to school in teh mornings and he'd have me read a Psalm every morning, point out the sunrise. if i was ever grumpy riding to or from school that year, he'd make me sing "dr. worm" to make me smile. he always knows just how to be my friend, to love me, to annoy and anger me. in august, one of my best friends is leaving the country for a year. we'll still talk it's not like he's dying but it's just gonna be so weird not being able to see him every week or have that kind of closeness anymore.
i really don't have anything else to say.
i really don't have anything else to say.
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