when the skies go grey with the coming dawn.

funny. i have a lot to say, but i don't have near enough the energy to say it.

i speak in french now almost the entire time i'm at work. makes it hard to speak anything but when i'm at home. hah.

i'm sleepy, goodnight

music. the flow of life.

music to me is like an extension of my heartbeat. i can't listen to a song if the pulse of it doesn't match up to my pulse and my ultimate being at the time i listen to it. my being's pulse fluctuates all the time and so does my music, but i just think it's interesting how the music we listen to can almost completely tell someone who we and what our feelings are at the moment.

first day 'o' work

well, first off my chaco tan is absolutely gorgeous.

okay well i think i'm going to love working at the oaks. everyone there is so nice and one of the girls speaks french! woo! and she is like really good friends with hannah and told me i'm like a little of her so she was going to adore me, oh yay. but one odd thing i noticed is that there are eleven of us lifeguards and every one is white and blonde. and every girl looks like she just walked out of a magazine, seriously there's no one bigger than a size 4. i'm pretty sure i broke that rule. hah. but yes, my feet are beautiful and i have a farmer's tan. : )

letcha know. sams sells my green tea again. all is right in the world! yay!

family ties.

so sitting beside my grandma ree today in the car i begain to think about the two sides of my family tree and how closely each sibling resembles one or the other. like how my the smith side is soft-spoken, passive, sweet, and gentle. now, this is the foil to my character, however, it describes my brother jon quite well. the other side, the odom/welch side are very out-spoken, random, different kinda people. i would definately classify myself there. i don't know i think it's really funny how completely different my parent's families are. and seeing the similarites and dissimiliarities of each that my siblings and i posess.

Chocolate Rain

This is the weirdest video. it almost makes you want to stick pins in your eyes, but it's like a car wreck, you just can't stop watching. enjoy!

just a little ole' clive staples

just a clip of the screwtape letters that i really thought was interesting. and really made me think. it probably has many different implications depending on who reads it, so i'll just let you form your own opinions. (i've highlighted/bolded my favorite thought provoking part)

preface, the person speaking is a demon trying to find a way to turn this christian away from G-d. okay

....As a result, (of having people ask irrelevant questions) while their minds are buzzing in this vaccuum, we have the better chance to slip in and bend them to hte action we have decided on. and some great work has already been done. once they knew that some changes were for the better, and others were for the worse, adn others again indifferent. we have largely removed this knowledge. for the descriptive adjective 'unchanged' we have substituted the emotional adjective 'stagnant'. we have trained them to think that the Future as a promised land which favoured heroes attain- not as something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is,

"i'm singing in the rain..."

rain,
the metaphorical representation of joy, hope, peace, love, and emotional cleansing.

ho hum, the tide has come

why hello.

today was lovely, my chaco tan is well on its way to perfection.

i promise not to delete any more posts.

only about twenty more days until i become aunt jamie.

after friday, i'm going to enjoy my life again and bond with people i love more often.

change. not the type that jingles.

today was my brother Jon's graduation. we had pictures of him when he was younger all over. there was this little basket of pictures i was looking through and there were a lot of the two of us together when we were really little. they were just the cutest things in the world and they made me get very mixed emotions. they made me remember happy memories and they also made my heart hurt. you see, this coming year marks a new phase in my life. i'm becomming an aunt in less than a month. i'm gaining a sister in june. the group of friends that i made this year are all moving away to college and such. and then in august probably the biggest change in my life thus far will occur. my brother is one of my best friends. i mean we fought and argued for the first well sixteen years of my life, but all the while i loved it. i love being playful and having fun with my brother. playing basketball, wrestling, watching him play hours of zelda, i loved it all, just being around him makes me happy. he used to drive me to school in teh mornings and he'd have me read a Psalm every morning, point out the sunrise. if i was ever grumpy riding to or from school that year, he'd make me sing "dr. worm" to make me smile. he always knows just how to be my friend, to love me, to annoy and anger me. in august, one of my best friends is leaving the country for a year. we'll still talk it's not like he's dying but it's just gonna be so weird not being able to see him every week or have that kind of closeness anymore.


i really don't have anything else to say.

Untitled Poem

The lapse of time and rivers is the same

Both spend their journey with a restless stream

The silent pace with which they steal away

No wealth can bribe, no prayers persuade to stay.

Alike irrevocable both when past

And a wide ocean swallows both at last.

Though each resemble each in every part,

A difference at length strikes the musing heart;

Streams never flow in vain:where streams abound,

How laughs the land with various plenty crowned!

But time, that should enrich the nobler mind

Neglected, leaves the weary waste behind.

William Cowper

I really don't have anything of my own to say, but i thought i should post. i really like this poem.