I mentioned it before, but while I drive, I listen to the audiobible.
Now, I'm not more holy than anybody else (probably less holy actually). Full disclosure: I didn't select the audiobible for any other reason besides the fact that it was the only audiobook in our library at school.
It's soothing. Believe you me, trashy pop music has its place in Dallas traffic, but long distance driving goes to the Bible.
Currently, I've made it through the gospels and acts.
Now, I've grown up reading the gospels, studying them in various Bible classes all growing up, and have had all sorts of other interactions. I felt as though I knew those things. Listening to them, though, I heard so many things I had never heard previously. It felt like experiencing the gospels for the first time.
And, listening to them all in a row, I was able to really hear the ways in which they differed from one another in tone and content. The intended audiences were made very clear.
But the one that made me really feel was the gospel of John.
John, as we know, was the "beloved disciple", the "disciple that Jesus loved."
As I listened to John's account of Jesus, I finally heard that. Patty Kirk, my creative writing professor in university, always told us to "show not tell". Yeah, John never said, "and Jesus, the one whom John loved to freaking death", his use of tone and diction demonstrated clearly clearly clearly his absolute delight in the person of Jesus.
His gospel didn't have a "point." It felt as though he wrote just because he wanted desperately for someone to "get it."
The tone John wrote was the same one in which I would have written about or spoken about my best friends, with that distant look in my eye as I looked back to that day in October Haley and I kidnapped and adopted into our friendship the third point to the trifecta, Caity, that slight catch in my voice as I tell others about the day I met Kira and truly saw the joy of Christ for the first time, those elaborate hand motions I use when bringing up Abby and our mutual love for communication and personality tests.
Haley, the seventh grade social studies teacher in Colorado.
Caity, the RUF intern in Oklahoma.
Kira, the photographer in Texas.
Abby, the law student in DC.
They've got titles, but ain't nobody know them like I know them. My stories would differ from every other person.
I bet you John felt really similarly.
Jesus, the risen Lord.
But, to John, Jesus, the man, his best friend, the one whom he could write of all day long, tell every story and yet, if he did, "even the whole world would not have enough room for the books that would be written",
I have long loved Jesus the Lord. But I have just fallen into love with Jesus, the man.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Monday, September 22, 2014
The Driving Force
Driving in Texas is unlike any form of automotive interaction that I've ever experienced.
However, I had one main foundational fallacy. I once believed that all drivers in Texas were like Dallas drivers. Not so. Each city has its own personality.
Dallas drivers are deliberate. They're like smart bombs. They know their trajectory and approach with precision. They may cut dead in front of you but believe you me, they were over there thinking, "I'm approaching at equal to above average pacing, with a half car distance between us. Lane change in 5, 4, 3, 2, NOW." It's incredible. I love driving with them, even if they do go an average of 14 over the speed limit.
The drivers of Austin are more cautious and are on the polite side of things. In my experience, the austin-ers just want to be friends. They most closely resembled the drivers of Tulsa, in my opinion.
San Antonio was the one that threw me off the most. Pretty consistently it was a solid five under the speed limit. They are both hesitant in lane changes as well as haphazard in all moves. Arkansan drivers would find much in common with them. I would never have guessed that I would feel more anxiety driving with them at a slow pace than I do with the "crazy" Dallas drivers.
Tyler, thus far, is much like Austin. They're not in a particular rush, but they seem very conscious of their driving, which I appreciate.
There's one more week in Dallas and one new city to add: Longview. 22 days in Texas is a really long time. This week I'm starting to feel it a little bit. Still fun! But feeling the separation from my friends back at the office. And starting to get concerned about the inches of work piling up on my desk...
But wow. When I get oober frustrated, I always seem to have one interaction that makes up for it, be that on the phone with one of my new applicants or with a student at a school or fair I visit.
It's surreal and so real and awesome to be at one of those events and think, "I wonder which ones of you will be the new SMLT director/worship leader/honors council member in just a few years". And I get to be a piece of getting them here, just like Ryan Terry was for me. How very cool.
That's my driving force: pre-visioning the future of my (hopefully) students.
However, I had one main foundational fallacy. I once believed that all drivers in Texas were like Dallas drivers. Not so. Each city has its own personality.
Dallas drivers are deliberate. They're like smart bombs. They know their trajectory and approach with precision. They may cut dead in front of you but believe you me, they were over there thinking, "I'm approaching at equal to above average pacing, with a half car distance between us. Lane change in 5, 4, 3, 2, NOW." It's incredible. I love driving with them, even if they do go an average of 14 over the speed limit.
The drivers of Austin are more cautious and are on the polite side of things. In my experience, the austin-ers just want to be friends. They most closely resembled the drivers of Tulsa, in my opinion.
San Antonio was the one that threw me off the most. Pretty consistently it was a solid five under the speed limit. They are both hesitant in lane changes as well as haphazard in all moves. Arkansan drivers would find much in common with them. I would never have guessed that I would feel more anxiety driving with them at a slow pace than I do with the "crazy" Dallas drivers.
Tyler, thus far, is much like Austin. They're not in a particular rush, but they seem very conscious of their driving, which I appreciate.
There's one more week in Dallas and one new city to add: Longview. 22 days in Texas is a really long time. This week I'm starting to feel it a little bit. Still fun! But feeling the separation from my friends back at the office. And starting to get concerned about the inches of work piling up on my desk...
But wow. When I get oober frustrated, I always seem to have one interaction that makes up for it, be that on the phone with one of my new applicants or with a student at a school or fair I visit.
It's surreal and so real and awesome to be at one of those events and think, "I wonder which ones of you will be the new SMLT director/worship leader/honors council member in just a few years". And I get to be a piece of getting them here, just like Ryan Terry was for me. How very cool.
That's my driving force: pre-visioning the future of my (hopefully) students.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
When the Bottom Falls Out
When I was somewhere in the region of age 7, my family went on holiday to Florida.
On one of those days, my mom and I went on a walk and came across a true clothing entrepreneur. He was amongst the first of his kind, strutting down the street with his trousers down by his knees, held up only by a hand on the belt buckle.
We could not stop laughing, imagining what his predicament would be were he to need the use of his hands. BYE BYE PANTS! He was bringing booty back, for sure.
Last night, I unpacked my rolley basket with my promotional materials from the trunk of my car and began to make my merry way into a college fair in Temple, Texas (in the rain, mind you), suddenly, the basket I had so much faith in pulled open, leaving all of my set-up magazines, pamphlets, pens, etc on the asphalt.
My day had been pretty absurd, so at this point, I wasn't even upset, I just burst out laughing. Luckily the rep from Abilene Christian gave me a hand and I loaded as much as I could into my tablecloth and carried it like a knapsack into the fair. I can't claim that it was my classiest moment, but I did feel very hick Arkansan. Another load and Abilene and I got it all inside.
I put a lot of faith in that basket. I put a lot of weight in that basket. I had to. There wasn't a way for me to carry all of it, not even with a tablecloth knapsack. But, fair after fair, I was able to rough-it, really only struggling when I had to lift it in and out of the car or up stairs.
When my basket failed me, though, in the least convenient time, my puny muscles and lack of a zillion arms failed me as well, and I couldn't act in excellence. I needed help. I needed my "competitor's" help.
Sometimes, in life, the bottom of our baskets fall out, and all our crap that we've been "successfully" lugging around with us spurts all over the parking lot in the rain and we've got to either accept help or accept that parts of our crap are going to get ruined.
More than that, even when we accept help, the reality is, the process of getting ourselves set back up is going to be messy and a bunch of "put together" people are going to see us struggle. Some may laugh, some may look at us pitifully, and some (those gems) will tell us, "Oh dude. The same thing happened to me a couple months ago...[insert totally humiliating story here that makes you forget that you've got mud on your ankles]."
All of that is better than having a meltdown in the parking lot and never making it inside at all. And yet, so many of us choose the rain.
On one of those days, my mom and I went on a walk and came across a true clothing entrepreneur. He was amongst the first of his kind, strutting down the street with his trousers down by his knees, held up only by a hand on the belt buckle.
We could not stop laughing, imagining what his predicament would be were he to need the use of his hands. BYE BYE PANTS! He was bringing booty back, for sure.
Last night, I unpacked my rolley basket with my promotional materials from the trunk of my car and began to make my merry way into a college fair in Temple, Texas (in the rain, mind you), suddenly, the basket I had so much faith in pulled open, leaving all of my set-up magazines, pamphlets, pens, etc on the asphalt.
My day had been pretty absurd, so at this point, I wasn't even upset, I just burst out laughing. Luckily the rep from Abilene Christian gave me a hand and I loaded as much as I could into my tablecloth and carried it like a knapsack into the fair. I can't claim that it was my classiest moment, but I did feel very hick Arkansan. Another load and Abilene and I got it all inside.
I put a lot of faith in that basket. I put a lot of weight in that basket. I had to. There wasn't a way for me to carry all of it, not even with a tablecloth knapsack. But, fair after fair, I was able to rough-it, really only struggling when I had to lift it in and out of the car or up stairs.
When my basket failed me, though, in the least convenient time, my puny muscles and lack of a zillion arms failed me as well, and I couldn't act in excellence. I needed help. I needed my "competitor's" help.
Sometimes, in life, the bottom of our baskets fall out, and all our crap that we've been "successfully" lugging around with us spurts all over the parking lot in the rain and we've got to either accept help or accept that parts of our crap are going to get ruined.
More than that, even when we accept help, the reality is, the process of getting ourselves set back up is going to be messy and a bunch of "put together" people are going to see us struggle. Some may laugh, some may look at us pitifully, and some (those gems) will tell us, "Oh dude. The same thing happened to me a couple months ago...[insert totally humiliating story here that makes you forget that you've got mud on your ankles]."
All of that is better than having a meltdown in the parking lot and never making it inside at all. And yet, so many of us choose the rain.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Old Wounds
We've all got them.
Whether it's from those rough ugly years as a fat adolescent, the brutal times when you thought your best friend hated you or hated herself (and she did, on both accounts), or when just plain awful was going down for a good long while.
Suck eras aren't surprising.
What I find surprising are the "triggers" you didn't know got left behind after you had been put together post-suck. They come up in the most random of times and places, no?
For instance, at one point, I lived with someone who had very strict ideas about what should be done with left over food. The chastisement I received when I failed to follow those guidelines was severe, but I soon fell into habit of doing things "correctly."
Later, when my housemate moved out and another moved in, I saw her throwing something out and started to have a panic attack. It was so strange. Because I had been conditioned to one way of life. Her violation of that rule unearthed serious anxiety in me as I recalled my chastisements of the past.
It happens.
The important step when your triggers get tripped (because they will) is how you respond.
Do you take the time to understand the root cause or to explain to whoever you are with why you flipped out so "unnecessarily" for the given situation?
Do you sort through what is legitimate and what is illegitimate?
And do you take the time to pray through those long-ago pains and find peace and security in Jesus?
It doesn't make you "unhealed" to still have your past in your blood, but it will if you let it have power over your present.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Kickin' Beats and Taking Names
Today, Texas melted my cupcake.
That is not innuendo for anything.
My first of two college fairs today gave me a cupcake.
I put said cupcake in car as I navigated my way across the Dallas ring.
And it melted.
Melted.
Cupcake.
...
How.
Other than feats of physics (Is that physics? I'm not sure. I was, after all, a creative writing major, not a science major), I have already started learning some things about Texas and college recruiting.
1. I am not made for Dallas driving. It makes me want to repent of all my sins and update my will.
2. Making friends with other reps is actually a really good idea. It's fun to exchange ideas on how we're doing things differently/similarly. Also, if you're both trying to work a difficult area, you can exchange schools/contacts to help one another just get in.
3. Give yourself super extra time to get places. You will get lost. Even if you see the school, you are not in the clear. Find the high school office then give me a call.
4. Bring more than one phone charger and put it in an accessible place.
5. Pack snacks. This is one is more like a life rule, but really. Snacks, guys.
6. Casually dressing in your school colors makes you so cool. It wasn't my idea; I actually saw a very hip sort of girl at another college fair do it then my own boss and have since been very cognizant to ask myself the question, "Does this come in navy or gold?" Today, for instance, I am sporting the yellow/gold bridesmaid dress I wore in my best friend Caity's wedding (yah that's right I actually wore it again. Can YOU say that about any of your bridesmaid dresses?) with a blue striped scarf. And I feel very school-spirited without being all up in your face about it.
7. It is difficult to have road rage when you are listening to the Bible on audiobook.
8. Dallas has a bollywood radio station: "Fun Asian Radio." Top notch. Even the commercials. I especially enjoyed the inspirational hit: Roobaroo by A.R. Rahman and Naresh Iyer. I'm not being ironic. It has a beat you won't be able to resist decoratively twisting your hands to.
Today thus far I have had a classroom visit and a college fair. In an hour I have another college fair.
It's going well so far. Only one student took a snooze on me today. In all fairness, the music on my promo videos is really soothing.
I think I enjoy talking with students just as much as I enjoy talking to their parents. Don't even get me started on my "momference" idea. I may have one at the end of September. It's pending. But I for sure have one scheduled for October, and I am stoked for it.
Moms gotta mom. I get that.
Time to leave Starbucks for my second college fair today.
That is not innuendo for anything.
My first of two college fairs today gave me a cupcake.
I put said cupcake in car as I navigated my way across the Dallas ring.
And it melted.
Melted.
Cupcake.
...
How.
Other than feats of physics (Is that physics? I'm not sure. I was, after all, a creative writing major, not a science major), I have already started learning some things about Texas and college recruiting.
1. I am not made for Dallas driving. It makes me want to repent of all my sins and update my will.
2. Making friends with other reps is actually a really good idea. It's fun to exchange ideas on how we're doing things differently/similarly. Also, if you're both trying to work a difficult area, you can exchange schools/contacts to help one another just get in.
3. Give yourself super extra time to get places. You will get lost. Even if you see the school, you are not in the clear. Find the high school office then give me a call.
4. Bring more than one phone charger and put it in an accessible place.
5. Pack snacks. This is one is more like a life rule, but really. Snacks, guys.
6. Casually dressing in your school colors makes you so cool. It wasn't my idea; I actually saw a very hip sort of girl at another college fair do it then my own boss and have since been very cognizant to ask myself the question, "Does this come in navy or gold?" Today, for instance, I am sporting the yellow/gold bridesmaid dress I wore in my best friend Caity's wedding (yah that's right I actually wore it again. Can YOU say that about any of your bridesmaid dresses?) with a blue striped scarf. And I feel very school-spirited without being all up in your face about it.
7. It is difficult to have road rage when you are listening to the Bible on audiobook.
8. Dallas has a bollywood radio station: "Fun Asian Radio." Top notch. Even the commercials. I especially enjoyed the inspirational hit: Roobaroo by A.R. Rahman and Naresh Iyer. I'm not being ironic. It has a beat you won't be able to resist decoratively twisting your hands to.
Today thus far I have had a classroom visit and a college fair. In an hour I have another college fair.
It's going well so far. Only one student took a snooze on me today. In all fairness, the music on my promo videos is really soothing.
I think I enjoy talking with students just as much as I enjoy talking to their parents. Don't even get me started on my "momference" idea. I may have one at the end of September. It's pending. But I for sure have one scheduled for October, and I am stoked for it.
Moms gotta mom. I get that.
Time to leave Starbucks for my second college fair today.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Out of the Office and On the Road
It's taken about a month of nonstop work, but I have finally put together the enormous puzzle that is travel season planning, and I head out this afternoon for Texas.
My schedule itself is rather strenuous . Check it out for yourself; it's all online.
Between school visits, college fairs, and personal visits with families, the next month is going to kick my little Oklahoman booty. I am floored.
Texans are some of my favorite people. Yah, they're loud and full of themselves and opinionated and gun-slinging, but that's what makes them awesome! Their state pride is inspirational and has made them the object of my admiration for years now.
As someone who has been trying to get fellow oklahomans to spread the joy of oklahoma far and wide and been patted on the head for my efforts, I love a place that has their state pride practically stamped across their foreheads, on their overpasses, and on their bumper stickers.
Stay posted. Each day will come with its own set of victories and defeats, but that's the beauty of it.
When you work in an office all day every day, the biggest excitement you can hope for is a new coffee creamer in the staff kitchen. It's fun and pleasant and my office is such an uplifting environment, but "thrilling" probably isn't the word for any office.
I'm ready for a little adventure back in my life.
My schedule itself is rather strenuous . Check it out for yourself; it's all online.
Between school visits, college fairs, and personal visits with families, the next month is going to kick my little Oklahoman booty. I am floored.
Texans are some of my favorite people. Yah, they're loud and full of themselves and opinionated and gun-slinging, but that's what makes them awesome! Their state pride is inspirational and has made them the object of my admiration for years now.
As someone who has been trying to get fellow oklahomans to spread the joy of oklahoma far and wide and been patted on the head for my efforts, I love a place that has their state pride practically stamped across their foreheads, on their overpasses, and on their bumper stickers.
Stay posted. Each day will come with its own set of victories and defeats, but that's the beauty of it.
When you work in an office all day every day, the biggest excitement you can hope for is a new coffee creamer in the staff kitchen. It's fun and pleasant and my office is such an uplifting environment, but "thrilling" probably isn't the word for any office.
I'm ready for a little adventure back in my life.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
PSL
It's that season again, when all the white girls in The States don their nike shorts, ugg boots, and head on over to Starbucks to take selfies with their pumpkin spice lattes.
It is one of my dearest pleasures to inwardly (and now bloggily) mock those humans.
At the same time, I admit that there are few things that are more delightful than a good pumpkin spice latte. Or really anything pumpkin flavoured.
Aldi carries so many strange and wonderful pumpkin products during the halloween season including, but not excluded to, pumpkin cream cheese, pumpkin yogurt, and pumpkin pancake mix.
And, I'm not sure if you're quite aware, but Northern Ireland is not known for its pumpkin-flavoured anything.
Not even their Starbucks carried the PSL.
Finally, after days and days of searching, I found one in Sinnamon on Stranmillis. (If you're ever in the UK in the fall and get desperate. I understand. We all have needs.
To me, at that time, I needed pumpkin because it tasted like home: jumping in crisp, fire-coloured leaves, the smell of the ozark mountains changing seasons, and carving pumpkins with my friends. All things I had been stripped of. All things I now have again.
Currently, I'm sitting in Starbucks in Rogers, 45 minutes away from my Siloam, finishing up some office work and drinking a PSL in the rainy weather.
Why?
Partly because I needed to do office work.
Partly because if I chose Rogers instead of Fayetteville, I can see the boyfriend after he gets off work.
Partly in celebration.
Today, I submitted the single most strenuous and single most important paper of my academic career. That's right; the Master's thesis has been officially turned-in. Now, all that's left to do is wait and hope my little American, literary voice is understood.
It is one of my dearest pleasures to inwardly (and now bloggily) mock those humans.
At the same time, I admit that there are few things that are more delightful than a good pumpkin spice latte. Or really anything pumpkin flavoured.
Aldi carries so many strange and wonderful pumpkin products during the halloween season including, but not excluded to, pumpkin cream cheese, pumpkin yogurt, and pumpkin pancake mix.
And, I'm not sure if you're quite aware, but Northern Ireland is not known for its pumpkin-flavoured anything.
Not even their Starbucks carried the PSL.
Finally, after days and days of searching, I found one in Sinnamon on Stranmillis. (If you're ever in the UK in the fall and get desperate. I understand. We all have needs.
To me, at that time, I needed pumpkin because it tasted like home: jumping in crisp, fire-coloured leaves, the smell of the ozark mountains changing seasons, and carving pumpkins with my friends. All things I had been stripped of. All things I now have again.
Currently, I'm sitting in Starbucks in Rogers, 45 minutes away from my Siloam, finishing up some office work and drinking a PSL in the rainy weather.
Why?
Partly because I needed to do office work.
Partly because if I chose Rogers instead of Fayetteville, I can see the boyfriend after he gets off work.
Partly in celebration.
Today, I submitted the single most strenuous and single most important paper of my academic career. That's right; the Master's thesis has been officially turned-in. Now, all that's left to do is wait and hope my little American, literary voice is understood.
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