The Awkward Phase

I spend a lot of time talking with other humans.
This is natural, considering I am a human.

I have also served as camp counselor, mentor, and friend to those younger than me.

I have heard several times, from those with whom I speak, that I couldn't possibly understand what they are going through because I don't have any idea what it's like to be so awkward/socially outcasted/weird/friendless/overwhelmed. That I am perfect and have everything put together.

Generally, I laugh at their response.
I have, during the vast majority of my life, been all of those things.

Only in college did I start making sense to other people socially, and even then, I am often considered to be "one strange bird."

When I think back through my years of life and schooling, it is easy for me to get irritated and depressed by how truly desolate I was. How much of the time I used to spend in tears, how much time I used to spend alone, how people's strongest impression of me is one of a low ponytail matched with glasses and hidden in the corner with a book, during recess.

If I'm to be honest, though, I was never truly alone. Granted, to consider me popular or well-liked is a hilarious joke. However, God always provided for me. Even in the loneliest corners of my life, He always sent me at least one friend, often an unexpected person.

And while those friends often shifted, I always had someone who cared about my existence.

I also had my family. They don't count, however, as adolescents consider their family to be an irritation at best and a veritable dagger in their kidneys at worst.

Those friends taught me the value of patience, of remembering birthdays, of writing little notes of encouragement, of remembering to send even a text invitation to the party "everybody" knows about, of standing by the snack table and talking during a party.

Without those friends, I would only have an idea what it's like to be socially awkward and outcasted;  because of them, though, I understand how dynamic it is to be extended the hand of grace, accept it, and learn how to extend mine as well to others.