We all fall apart. That's the naked truth of it.
Despite what I felt was a miraculous recovery from my depression, I, once again, dissolved just a few days ago in a pretty major way. It seems when faced with the actual pressure and reality of my return to Northern Ireland, my mind ceased to act out of its state of renewal and repair.
I got sent to counseling later that afternoon and, in the space of three days, have completed three sessions.
It's been good, but it's also been a solid reminder that "getting better" is a process of ebs and flows, a one step forward two steps back kind of situation. That won't change when I go back to NI either.
Not all, certainly, but many of the same struggles will be waiting for me the moment I get off the plane there. I'm not going to be able to (nor do I want to) wean off the Lord's grace or sufficiency or daily bread.
No matter where I go, no matter who I'm with, I will always be an Israelite with a full dependency and hope in the fact that when I walk out of my tent in the morning, there will be manna enough to sustain and strengthen me for the day ahead. In exact measure for my needs.
So, I leave yesterday and the day before where they are in their graves of time and tomorrow in its den, and I hold up the 12 hours in front of me for inspection and growth.
We are well aware that "in a minute there is time/For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."
But we are equally aware that every decision, every minute is a chance to change the world.
Every decision, every minute we are writing new sentences in the books of our lives.
The neverending story continues.
No comments:
Post a Comment