While I was waiting for them to arrive, though, I was privy to a conversation between two women.
They spoke together of what they had imagined their lives to be by this point, a conversation I have both had with others and heard from others many times in the past couple years.
The speaker told of how she had, at this point, imagined that she would have had a man, a bundle of kids, and a job with direction. And she hadn't.
She lamented for a good long while more but culminated the story with saying--tearfully--that she truly believed that "Lola" was the answer to God's promise to her as a 21 year old of having a daughter.
A few more sentences cleared up Lola's canine identity. She talked about Lola's habits, her moods, her fears, as though she were a non-dog creature. At this point, I'm getting a little weirded out, like, this woman needs some help.
"I feel like a mama."
And the girl with her, whom, I had noticed, spoke only not-crazy things, responded very calmly to that with, "You are."
It took me aback.
See, I would have started telling that woman something with rationality to it or try to help her understand that a dog is not a person and that she's somehow misguided in what I perceive as lunacy. I would have tried to make her "normal" about the whole thing, and she would have left perhaps reconsidering the "promise fulfillment" she had believed in.
And maybe she would have been a little more on this planet, but would it have been better? Perhaps no. Her joy in her creature and in what she believed its role in her life to be would have been marred, and she would have reverted to lamenting the fact that God, who had "promised" her a child, did not follow-through. Who am I to say that she's wrong? I ain't in the club with her and Jesus.
It was her friend, though, that spoke to her soul in such a short sentence: "You are."
She didn't say, "Oh yah totally that mutt is for sure God's promise child." No, she confirmed the heart of the matter. She made herself a trustworthy friend in that moment by choosing to love and affirm her friend in a moment of intimacy instead of correct.
How many times has someone shared something with us that was dear to them and we have responded as though it were small beans? We missed out on an opportunity for intimacy and have, perhaps, destroyed forever future opportunities for intimacy for them because we demonstrated ourselves to be an unsafe place.
More than that, what is our heart issue with hearing out people like the dog-mom?
It makes us feel squeamish.
We would never think like that.
So what?
What does it matter if we would think like that?
Unless what they are experiencing comes into direct conflict with scripture, who's to say that that isn't what them and Jesus are up to in the spiritual realm?
You are okay.
They are okay.
It's something I have to often remind myself of in many situations, not just spiritual.
Friends that are loud and obnoxious embarrass me. Why? I'm not doing those things. If they aren't embarrassed, why should I be on their behalf?
Similarly, if I am doing something absurd in my own free time--such as jumping into the ocean fully clothed with business wear--why is it anyone's duty to be horrified that I would be undignified in my exuberance for the ocean and creation. I know David and his soon-to-be-forever-barren wife came into the same struggle.
If it ain't you, and you aren't being graded as a team, and your buddy is aware of how silly or loud they are being, then be secure enough in yourself to be okay with you and let you be okay with them. They are okay with them.
"I feel like a mama."
And the girl with her, whom, I had noticed, spoke only not-crazy things, responded very calmly to that with, "You are."
It took me aback.
See, I would have started telling that woman something with rationality to it or try to help her understand that a dog is not a person and that she's somehow misguided in what I perceive as lunacy. I would have tried to make her "normal" about the whole thing, and she would have left perhaps reconsidering the "promise fulfillment" she had believed in.
And maybe she would have been a little more on this planet, but would it have been better? Perhaps no. Her joy in her creature and in what she believed its role in her life to be would have been marred, and she would have reverted to lamenting the fact that God, who had "promised" her a child, did not follow-through. Who am I to say that she's wrong? I ain't in the club with her and Jesus.
It was her friend, though, that spoke to her soul in such a short sentence: "You are."
She didn't say, "Oh yah totally that mutt is for sure God's promise child." No, she confirmed the heart of the matter. She made herself a trustworthy friend in that moment by choosing to love and affirm her friend in a moment of intimacy instead of correct.
How many times has someone shared something with us that was dear to them and we have responded as though it were small beans? We missed out on an opportunity for intimacy and have, perhaps, destroyed forever future opportunities for intimacy for them because we demonstrated ourselves to be an unsafe place.
More than that, what is our heart issue with hearing out people like the dog-mom?
It makes us feel squeamish.
We would never think like that.
So what?
What does it matter if we would think like that?
Unless what they are experiencing comes into direct conflict with scripture, who's to say that that isn't what them and Jesus are up to in the spiritual realm?
You are okay.
They are okay.
It's something I have to often remind myself of in many situations, not just spiritual.
Friends that are loud and obnoxious embarrass me. Why? I'm not doing those things. If they aren't embarrassed, why should I be on their behalf?
Similarly, if I am doing something absurd in my own free time--such as jumping into the ocean fully clothed with business wear--why is it anyone's duty to be horrified that I would be undignified in my exuberance for the ocean and creation. I know David and his soon-to-be-forever-barren wife came into the same struggle.
If it ain't you, and you aren't being graded as a team, and your buddy is aware of how silly or loud they are being, then be secure enough in yourself to be okay with you and let you be okay with them. They are okay with them.
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