9/22/10-What do YOU see in me?

THE QUESTIONS

What do you think I am most passionate about?
What do you think I'm good at?
What do you see me doing or being in ten years?

RESPONSES

Daddy:

1. New Life Ranch. Learning. College.

2. Writing. Discipline in school.

3. Married and working on a doctorate.

Brother:

1. Make-up and fashion. hahahaha. But seriously. Friendships.

2. Are you sure this is for a class and not like a facebook post on "15 things about me" or something?

great friend. writing. thoughtful. pretty discipled. good at school stuff.

3. Ten years??? Oh man...uh...I could probably answer this better in like two years...uh...teaching, brain surgery (hahaha. joke) managing a coffee shop or something, doing something and then trying to write on the side, 28? You'll probably be married.

Friend 1:

1. I think you are most passionate about people and your relationships with them. You have a knack for making people feel needed and important.
2. You're good at making friends with anyone. You are super cheerful and friendly and have a great outgoing personality.
3. I see you being involved with high school girls some how. Maybe sharing your story and encouraging them somehow. Not sure what capacity...but yeah.

Best Friend:

1. Passionate about the perceptions of the church
2. Good at making people feel included and safe
3. Ten years i see you married with kids being involved in some random ministry to kids/highschoolers

MY RESPONSE

Interestingly, my view of myself and the view of those around me is basically the same. In my opinion, I would say that I place very strong emphasis on relationships and academia. Not surprisingly, others see that in me as well. I honestly was surprised that my best friend remembered my passion about the worldy perception of the church. I sometimes forget that she actually listens when I talk about things. Another thing that I found interesting was that my brother and my dad both knew about my passion for writing. I don't think I've ever talked about that with them, so it took me off guard that they would even think to add that in as something I am good at or want to do with my life. I don't think I have ever considered owning a coffee shop, but hey. You never know. I like coffee. I like people. It could be a beautiful relationship. One thing that I didn't expect, or rather that I do not always see in myself is the response from both Friend 1 and my best friend: "making people feel included and safe" and "you have a knack for making people feel needed and important." I don't think I am that way. I love people and I love talking to people and understanding them and guiding them, and yes I'm glad that people see that, but I guess that I do not often see in myself an...encourager or includer. I suppose I often feel as though my love for others goes unnoticed. I truly enjoyed asking my friends and family these questions, though. It gave me a unique opportunity to get inside the perceptions of me from those that I love.

9/15/10-Gifts and Strengths

Via “StrengthsQuest,” I discovered that my top two strengths are “restorative” and “input.” Restorative (just a refresher) means that I have an affinity for broken things, people or otherwise. I find pleasure and accomplishment in listening to people and “fixing” their problems. Input means that I collect things such as old high school papers, interesting words, old books, and other random items. My spiritual gift, exhortation works nicely in association with these strengths. Being a “fixer,” I am required to be real with people and open their eyes to the cause of their struggles and that takes a very direct approach. Input works in association with these gifts because I am extremely observant of others and “collect” details about them, which aids greatly when discussing their lives. You may be wondering, “what does that have to do with anything?”, but people become much more open when you care enough about them to observe changes about them as well as those little personality quirks they think no one notices. I could not pick more applicable traits than these to help me with my future plans. As I wrote about previously, I am going to work in a rehab center for girls overcoming eating disorders. All three of these personal qualities cohesively work together for that cause. There is not a job or a degree better suited for me if one were to look only at my spiritual gifts and strengths. For my personal life, though, these abilities will bring me a lot of joy and a lot of heartache. Joy because I find strength in restoring people and heartache due to the weight of people’s stories. All in all, my gifts and strengths blend beautifully to create a powerful partnership.

9/7/10-Spiritual Gifts

Growing up, my family always teased me because even as a child, my directness was startling. Never one to beat around the bush, I clearly articulate exactly what people need to hear, whether or not they want to hear it. Other comrades bless the world with cheerfulness or encouragement or mercy, but I have the “unique” ability to “just tell it like it is.” In addition, I have always just “gotten people.” Friends and strangers find in me a person willing to listen and give insight into decision-making. Although I am not someone who could be considered “emotional”, I enjoy listening to the emotional struggles of others and encouraging them in the way of the Lord. After the initial emotional catharsis finishes, I draw the conversation back around to the logical side instead of the “feelings and mush” side and help direct whomever I am speaking with to decision-making and behavioral change according to God’s word and His will. In groups, I naturally watch people instead of taking the spotlight and running my mouth, but when I do say something, people listen to me. My loving heart and clear-mind combine to express my spiritual gift of exhortation.

9/7/10-The Least of These

//Quick preface: I'm trying to combine all my bloggings into one blog. Good or bad. One blog. So this is the first of a series of transfers. Enjoy.//

Christians as a whole have the tendency to become extremely complacent and one-minded. By that, I mean that followers of The Faith lean towards the mindset that serving God means “going into the ministry.” Often times though, that plan ends up less impactful than the average position. For myself, I plan on going into the ministry of cultural reversal. The ideal of beauty and physical appearance deeply saturates the minds of youth today. In moderation those concepts harm none, but the extreme extent to which they are taken these days arouses me to action. Thus, my “life plan” is to go into counseling of girls inflicted with eating disorders. Although indirect in changing culture, I speculate that even small steps impact the kingdom of God. Sure, I do not intend on running crusades for Christ or leading hundreds in the prayer of salvation, but I am one of those old-fashioned kind of people who believes that Christianity is at the core simply love. Putting a Christian label on my job description would not make my “ministry” any more effective, it would just make it an easier target for criticism and a hub for Christians to come and gossip about non-Christians. To truly go into the world and love like God asks, I need to go into the messed up worlds of crazy teenage girls; start with “the least of these” and see where God takes me from there.

camp

camp thus far has been incredible. this week i'm teaching mountain man with mr. zach ford or the wooly nomad if you will. i ate an ant which tasted just like sprite actually, learned all about dandilions, caught a crawdad, made little girls a contest in which they ignore boys for a week to get a prize, and made little boys feel guilty for not picking me a flower. their punnishment is to sing and dance "burning up" for me tomorrow in class. i'm quite excited about it actually. i never want to leave this place. my goal for this week is for the lifeguards to win spirit award for one day. that would be magnificent. i'm bonding with hte aussi in the canteen this week, which is quite amusing and am currently dripping sweat, which is repulsive. i never feel clean, but i suppose thats' what camps all about right? ah. hillbilly flea market this weekend, get pumped. woo!

Lovely.

"Nothing is more practical than finding God,
That is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way,
What you are in love with,
What seizes your imagination,
Will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
What you will do with your evenings,
How you will spend your weekends,
What you know,
What breaks your heart,
And what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love,
Stay in love,
And it will decide everything." - Pedro Arrupe

the denaturation of life.

i'm finding more and more that things change. sometimes it's good change, sometimes it's bad change, sometimes it's just...different. Sometimes it's the hardest kind of change. The kind that you know is good for the other person, but you can't help but feel as though you've lost something. sometimes that change comes from within. like how i'm learning more and more that there is so much more to life than highschool drama and grades. sometimes it's just easier on our hearts to focus on our own little spectrums, because we know that when we look out, we won't like what we see. sometimes the change is external, like a marriage or a new baby. sometimes in relationships, only one person notices the change. like the effects of a marriage. it's quite interesting actually. i'm the only sibling left at home. my three older brothers are eigher moved out or married or both. i've always felt like my oldest brother, although i love him dearly, was more like an uncle. i mean really? he's fourteen years older. we never really had sibling fights or anything like that. the middle brother is mostly the same. i remember a time waaaay back when we played together, but then he kinda became an uncle figure too. my youngest brother was my worst enemy and my best friend. he was the character that made me sign contracts and enslaved me and played gi-joes and barbies in the christmas tree and make me sit under his djembe in the truck. i just felt like we could talk about anything and i kinda followed him like a puppy. it's interesting the way his marriage has effected our relationship. it's made him a better man. by a long run. and i love my sister in law dearly. but he came home to visit this week, and it was just...different. it's like when we started out with our little family it was a bubble. then one by one each brother left the bubble. and now i'm the only one left. they are just at this place of friendship and relationship that i cannot cross over to. this week has made this even more apparent. it's an irreversible change. it's the change that has made him what he is today, but it's also the change that ended the beauty of our silly sibling realtionship. i can't stand it. i just want them to go home. the more they stay here the more i am hit with this terrible newness. i think it's funny how i can be a normal human being around all my friends, but the second i get around my family or those i want to impress, i become a 7 year old whiny girl. it's interesting.