Currently, I am reading for fun.
Please hold your shock or applause. Yes, I will answer the unasked question.
I am reading for fun today not because it is Sabbath (Friday was my Sabbath) but because I am a controlling, legalistic workaholic whose behavioral patterns are relationally and psychologically destructive.
This is something which has recently been presented to me through an uncanny number of sources, resulting in an experience much like Dursleys with a particular letter...
I'm not okay with it. I want to be better. I want to be different. I want so much more than this, not because I'm a selfish brat (which, to be honest, I really have demonstrated myself to be), but because the people who love me deserve better than my half-assed--more like no-assed-attempt at loving them well, and that includes God.
Yeah, it's reading. Small digs, Odom.
But, like Rob Bell would say, as he does in his book Sex God (not the book I'm currently reading but a very insightful look at the connections between sexuality and spirituality), this is really about that.
It's reading. But it's indicative of the fact that I have, other than this moment, stopped staring at my computer screen and contented myself with the slow process of eating language for breakfast (or brunch or tea time snack or any meal really).
I am doing something "unproductive".
I am delighting in the creation of someone else.
I'm trying--so hard--to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment