I woke up this morning a new person.
Today, for the first time in my life, I feel ready to be an adult.
I am not afraid. I do not feel inadequate.
I have been prepared, equipped, and in all ways readied for this stage in my life.
There's not really a good way for me to describe what happened except a complete renewal of my mind. What has been asked of me, I finally feel ready to do.
I've been holding white-fisted to my childhood, terrified to death to let go and grow up. It's familiar. It's safe. I'm comfortable here. Well. God must have been ready for me to hit the ready threshold, so he cut the ties of my kite and, against my will, set me free.
I continue to not know my plans, but I am all here. All present. And the possibilities are endless. Even if I fail, it will not be because I halfway tried out of paralyzing knowledge of my own insufficiencies.
If God wants me somewhere or doing something, he will also create unheard of possibilities to make those things happen. I am not in control.
So what is my next step?
My next step is getting out of my room, eating, and responding to the employment emails I've been too freaked out by to answer.
Here we go.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. -1 Corinthians 13:11
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