Wednesday, April 23, 2008

disecting me.

i had a panic attack driving home from school today. it scared the crap out of me. uh...so today. well i lost my election. it sucks. quite a lot actually. you know the thing that frustrates me the most? i had an awesome speech, incredibly creative posters, and i wanted this so much. my opponent had none of those. none. but of course it's high school where everything depends on how popular you are. shit. i have seven ap classes next year now. and yes zac, i know that my insanity is my own choosing. i know. these classes are of my own choosing. mrs. camp tried today to figure out why i'm literally commiting suicide with them. she asked who am i trying to prove myself to? what am i trying to accomplish with this? my answer? i don't have a clue! i've been trying to figure that out for so long, and i honestly have no clue where my manic drive comes from. i don't deal with failure well. i think maybe if i accomplish all this i won't be a failure to myself at least. i don't know i'll fix this later so it doesn't sound so high school girl-ish and whiny.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BX518lEPis8
avril rocks.

3 comments:

  1. I meant to tell you this tonight... But please remember that without fail, when you increase quantity, the quality necessarily has to decrease.

    While I completely support pushing yourself as hard as possible... the academic in me wants to advise you that taking so many classes will prevent you from fully embracing the material in each class.

    In fact, I would strongly argue that taking that many classes would, no doubt, force you to become a cog in the wheel, doing homework only to keep your GPA afloat... instead of actually learning the material.

    Sure, call me a romantic, but I still believe that school is about learning, not about your GPA or how many AP classes you take. My take on this is simple: Which ever classes you take next semester, I want you to learn the material taught in them... if you believe you can intake that much information at once... go for it. If not, I would suggest you choose the top 4 or 5 that you are interested in, and apply yourself fully to those classes.

    It is not about whether or not you can do it... it is about what environment will allow you to learn... while also giving you the flexibility to have conversations about life, or go to a debate tournament... instead of wasting away hours at home finishing homework.

    If college credit is what you are after... I assure you, your time would be better spent at TCC, taking 3 college classes the first semester, and 3 the second. You will spend less time on those classes, and you are guaranteed credit so long as you keep a B in the class (or C depending on your college of choice).

    That is just my suggestion... happy choosing.

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  2. After high school, the only thing that people care about is the kind of person that you are. AP classes and class-elections are quickly forgotten. you should put your energy into becoming the kind of person you want to be, not the kind you think everyone else wants you to be. not to mention, you probably won't talk to 98% of the people you went to high school with ever again after graduation. just my thought.

    anonymously,
    anonymous person

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