brink

i have many tangents to discuss. but first i would like to mention one thing. once upon a time zac penix asked me how i would go insane. i replied by saying that i would probably be really pissy for about a week and then start laughing and just not stop. i think i have now hit that point. since about 4th hour today i have been laughing. manic-ly and without end. for absolutely no purpose at all. i even got to leave school like 10 minutes early because my teacher thought i was having some sort of breakdown. hah! well now that i'm insane,let me move on.

i've been reading screwtape letters by the startlingly brilliant C.S. Lewis, and many things have hit me, but the thing i've been most intruiged by is this...

Humans are amphibians-half spirit adn half animal.

As spirits they belong to teh eternal world, but as animals

they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit

can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies,

passions, and imaginations are in continual

change, for to be in time means to change.

Their nearest approach to constancy, therfore, is
undulation-the repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs
adn peaks...as long as he lives on earth
periods of emotional and bodily richness adn

liveliness will alternate with periods of
numbness and poverty.

I just really thought this was mind blowing.
we think things are so set sometimes, like our relationship with G-d, or with
people, but the part of this that so stuck out to me was that as humans we are
in continual change. i know that it's like such a known fact, but it was a total
epiphany to me. Next tangent. I've been reading in excruciating slowness (not because i'm a bad reader, but so that i catch it all) Ephesians. in chapter 1 it says

11In him we were also chosen,[e] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

The part i catch here? having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will. i always used to take that to mean, do all according to G-d's will. now, don't get me wrong, i'm all up for G-d's will. but for the people that i love who aren't all up for it, this leaves them room and me hope. not in accordance but in conformity. it means to me that no matter what kind of mistakes you make, in the end, G-d's plan will prevail. it'll all work out, it'll all be okay maybe not the best way that he wanted it to be, but it will all work.

if you haven't seen this yet, you have to watch this video. It's called The Church of Oprah Exposed. It's really weird. Tell me what you think about it. http://youtube.com/watch?v=NizojZIX7Aw