The Girlfriend Goodbye Post.

In May of Last year, I wrote about goodbyes without promise. 

It is now the time for me to reiterate my thoughts in a more concrete way. Beware, there be sappiness. 

My boyfriend Noah defines sappiness as: "The quality of being, at the same time, both very sad and very happy." 

I leave for Ireland in around 40 hours. I will be gone for a year. This may not seem like a very long time for you all who are adept at change and leaving, but I have never been more than an hour and a half away long-term from my family. 

I also hate change. 

This change, however, I think my soul is ready for. The pain of leaving, though, is unbelievable. I say goodbye without knowing when or how or in what context I will see my closest circle again. 

Sappiness has characterized the past month for me as I've said goodbye to my three best friends, mentors, and family members. We are all off to live and live fully, but we will do so without the direct involvement of one another. 

This past weekend, I brought the boyfriend home. It was an absolute blast. We baked together, sang loudly in my kitchen, went on a walk to one of my favorite places, and spent time with my family. 

There was a lot of laughter. But in the times the room got still, we'd remember why he was there and how the weekend would end. 

I've known for the last year that I would leave my family and my friends this September. I did not anticipate Noah. I don't know how I could have. 

God thinks it's funny to mess with me. I, who loathe and avoid committing to anything more than a few days in advance, have agreed to attempt what looks to me as being impossible. It makes me squirm and shiver and want to escape just thinking about it, but I have given a promise with my goodbye and have entrusted it to God. 

This post, then, serves as a slight amendment to its predecessor. All goodbyes are promiseless. All goodbyes, that is, except for the kind of promise you make to a person you can't imagine your life without. Even then it isn't stone, but it's a bond of faithfulness that, if planted in a foundation of the Lord, just might have a chance.