6/8/11-Explosions from my Inner Artist

I have often defined myself as “unartistic.” However, I am coming to the realization—through the guidance of my Art Appreciation class—that I am not. My classification of myself comes not through the truth of the situation, but my perception and definition of “art.” In a so-called traditional sense, yes. I am unartistic. I cannot draw or paint or sculpt anything recognizeable, but that shouldn’t be my goal. Art ceases to be art when you expect it to ‘be something’ Art is art when it just ‘is.’ The moment you give it expectations or begin to look for something in order to categorize it in a mind-box, its sponteneity and joie de vivre cease to exist. Art is merely an outward expression of an inward expression. I have been asking myself to essentially replicate what has already been done instead of asking myself to divulge own creative passions.

Reading through my new textbook, I have been reminded of something that I created a little over four months ago. It is a creation fondly referred to as “the break-up book.” This book, one whose content I adore, arrived in the mail on the wrong day. I have an aesthetic thing about books, And this particular book had both aesthetic and sentimental value to me. The book that came did not fulfill those expectations. Due to my unexpected surge of emotion—completely new and totally unrecognizeable to me—I had to do something to get it out. My senseless grief found scissors and that wretched book. I attacked it. It actually turned out to be really cool. It, for the remainder of the semester, was put on display on top of the printer. Nearly everyone who entered my room started with, “cool book! art project?” I would merely smile and respond, “yeah, something like that.”

It has a place of honor in my glorious bookshelf at home. I created something beautiful and interesting and completely me. It combines my extreme passion for books and my inner emotional being.

I’ve always loved art. I love gazing at it and interpreting it. One time, maybe more than that, I made my own. I want more. And now I have an outlet that asks something of me that I can deliver. I am more than excited.

What do I do with what I create though?